Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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