it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
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No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.