Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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