sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
