I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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