O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
