my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize