I just cut my nipple shaving
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together