quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"