I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.