I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if only i could text you this smell
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept