she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
