Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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