good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
