i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
