i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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