This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
