there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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