I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My balls are so social today.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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