Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
