He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
