It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
