I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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