yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
