Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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