I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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