I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
