TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
