He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
