I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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