Soap is not a condiment
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
