vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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