i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize