How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
