I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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