Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize