people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Fuck appropriateness.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize