If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
