dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
