there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
