Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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