I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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