he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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