He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
