i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
