They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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