if i died would you start the facebook group?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
