I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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