Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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