Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
