at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
