My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
