well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Im part way to drunk.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
