I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
