So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
