I heard we made out
my shit smells like andre
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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