This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
