you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
