ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is the high leading the old right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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