Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
