By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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