I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
