My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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