So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
