Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
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I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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