I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
