Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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