im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
