Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
