I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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