i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
