Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
