you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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